With My Open Lungs

It is my essay. In 2022 my country invaded Ukraine. The constant presence of war in my cozy Russian daily life gets mixed with the break up with my man. I fall in love with a woman. She thinks about making a protest action against the regime. Cancer is found in her lungs. She chokes. Our dates through the hospital doors get mixed up with the symbolic scenery of my city calling to kill. But we love, laugh and have sex despite her illness and mutated reality. The war goes on – to protest is useless. I have cured her. She breathes easier and runs abroad. I farewell to my previous life and my home city, which now chokes me. I am still scared but I am ready to follow her.

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